Smitha has the coooooolest first name. If she weren't my Blogger Insider partner for this round, I would beat her up and steal it from her. I envy her nimble, violin-playing yumminess, as well.

Here are her questions for me. You can find my questions and her answers at her site. On with the show!!!

1. Devise the perfect punishment to dole out to the Yahoo!/Geoshi--uh--them, for screwing over all their free members with next to no notice.
They should have to attend daily seminars by Martha Stewart on any given subject. Entertainment will of course be provided by Fred Durst.

2. How long have you been writing? Do you usually write for yourself, or do you like to show your stories to others?
Been writing basically as far back as I can remember. I was a very early reader and writing was a natural progression. I was four when I wrote and illustrated my first book...it was about pirates. As to the second question, it really varies from piece to piece. More of my poetry and songs see the light of day than my prose does. I don't really know why this is. Sometimes I just like to lay stuff out there for my own benefit --for feedback's sake-- but mostly I guess you could say that I write for myself and have a few trusted advisors.

3. Do you just use the signs because they're cute, or do they have any significance? (They are cute, by the way.)
AUUUUUUGHHHH!! 'Cute' is the bane of the punk rock girl!!! The signs are enamel-on-porcelain jobbies designed by Ande Rooney. I have a collection of them in my spare bath, which started with the 'HIPPIES USE SIDE DOOR' one. I found it in a kitchen store some years back and found it quite hilarious, so I started seeking out more of Ande's work. He has a funny sense of humor, and I view the signs as sort of a jab at 'the establishment'.....they present humor in that really utilitarian, succinct manner that bureaucracy is so fond of.

4. Which of your children's quirks/habits are your absolute favorites?
Hmmmm....this is a really unfair question, do you know that? I like the way Sam goes out of his way to kiss me on the forehead because he knows that forehead kisses are special to me, that they're my favorite. I like the fact that Scout is always looking out for 'the underdog' in any given situation and she takes extra care to make people feel good about themselves. I find it quite funny when Mathias wipes everyone's kisses off, even though he loves to be 'loved on'....it started as a game ("Don't you wipe my kisses off, Mathias!!!!") and now he does it as a rule.

5. Do/did you play a musical instrument? How'd your deep-rooted love for music take shape?
You're asking me a lot of long-answer questions...NO FAIR. I play several instruments. I come from a musical family and one of my oldest memories is of sitting on my granddad's old plank porch, at the foot of his rocking chair, listening to his rich bass voice as he practiced hymns.

6. What quote (or quotes) define(s) you?
A few come to mind:
"Hit quickly, hit hard and keep right on hitting." --General Holland M. Smith, USMC
"I don't adhere to rabbis, preachers, evangelists, all of that. I've learned more from the songs than I've learned from any of this kind of entity. The songs are my lexicon. I believe the songs." --Bob Dylan
"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen." --Hebrews 11:1
"Momma says it be's that way sometimes." --A little black girl told this to my mother when they were young, and it always stuck. Because it's true, I'd imagine.

7. What first made you start blogging? (Apologies if this was in a previous BI Q&A set or something like that.)
I had just started an online journal maybe a month before I fell across somebody that was blogger-powered. Couple days and some swear words later (I knew NOTHING of code and such) I was up and running courtesy of blogger.

8. Do you dwell on your past a lot, or do you look forward?
I definitely think that this has gone in stages in my life. Used to be, when I was very young, I was looking FAAAAAAR ahead....too far, really. Then I began looking a bit ahead. Then I learned to let go and live in the moment. I am at a place now where I explore the past occasionally, turn it over in my hands and explore it from a better (maybe wiser?) place. I have this refrigerator magnet that I picked up a few months back and it has a quote from Dickens on it: "Live in the past, the present, and the future!" It makes sense.

9. Do you know any foreign languages, and/or have any interest in a specific culture/cultures?
I know enough workable French to get me around if I were surreptitiously dropped into the middle of market in Nice. I know enough street Spanish to tell you that you have a stinky penis and your mother is a cocksucking whoredog. I speak Hawaiian pidgin quite fluently. I can swear pretty well in Italian and German. As to interest in cultures, Italians and Celts win the big prize...prolly because they are a part of my heritage.

10. Whenever you have to fill out one of those surveys, and you come to the blank that says, "Describe something interesting about yourself," what would you put there? Conversely, what would you LIKE to put there, if you're limited by space or content restraints?
"Compassionate misanthrope; very social animal, but loathes people. Or, more to the point, their rampant stupidity."

11. So is Alabama as bad as I thi--er, *ahem* as everybody says it is?
Depends on what perspective you view it from, I'd imagine. Also would depend on what section you're in. The southernmost part of the state, around the Gulf, is VASTLY different from the area that I reside in, which is up north, on the end of Appalachia. This is a really beautiful state, I live in a great place to raise children. The school district my kids are in is actually quite good; my kids' schools have won national recognition. The community is really balanced, and there are lots of activities for kids. There is lots of backwards thinking here in my little neck of the woods, but it's a very culturally rich spot, as well. Birmingham (which is not far away) is a really superb city. This whole area boasts a lot of history. I've lived in better places, and there most assuredly are worse. ANY place is what you make of it, really.

12. Have you ever met anybody in person that you originally met over the Internet?No, and given time and geographical constraints, I don't know how soon it would happen. There are only two I would care to meet, anyway.

13. What's your sure-fire way for getting a Jehovah's Witness to go away?
Invite them in, lock the door (that part's really important....also more impressive if you have a deadbolt and make a large show of it), pull out my bible and say, "SURE you can tell me about your faith, if I can tell you about MINE." The calmer and more overtly-rational you seem, the more effective this scenario is. Smile a lot. A WHOLE LOT. They run away. I swear that this works. I saw my mother do it tons growing up. I have done it myself once or twice.

14. Pink. Yes or no?
She's cool in my book. If you were referring to the color, then you must not have read my 'more' page.